Why is Sexuality Taboo?
written by muslim-women-sexuality
at Sunday, April 15, 2012
I would like to share my experiences doing ethnographic study among single young women in Islamic boarding school in 2004, which i did not have confidence enough to start talking about their sexuality, till i got impressed by one girl saying that "we talk about sexuality duirng Uqudulujain class, especially for students, who approach to married life". It is true that sexuality becomes interesting subject to talk, though it is always controversial to debate in the class. But why do people taboo sexuality? there are some reasons that i caught from people experiences to taboo sexuality in daily public talks.
Firstly, talking about sexuality is discussing about power relation among different type of courtship among human being. Power relation is "who control whom" in enjoying sexuality, how to be women and men sexually. In our daily life, there is a belief that men are constructed as sexually hunter, and women are sexually thought by men. Meaning, men must explore their curiousity on sexuality before marriage in order to be skillful and experiencing in leading sexual relation with the wife. Girls are strongly not recomended to explore their sexuality before marriage, because this will ruin their virginity. Therefore, it is not correct in the eyes of patrichal society when wife dictates husband to explore their body.
Secondly, It is taboo because sexuality is understood as sexual intercourse, neglecting the broad nature of sexuality. This is a big mistake that we have in our society. To make clear what is sexuality, i would like to remind that sexuality is about human feeling, thoughts, and behavior associated with being female or male, being atractive, being in love, as well as being in relationship that include sexual intimacy, sensuality, sexual activity and social and cultural meanings. So, sexuality includes our the whole package as human being. So, it is important to teach our children since early about sexuality education, in order to shape their feeling, thought and behavior to be more responsible for other people. When boys are thought to be respect to girls, Girls should be respect to her body, we may see in our society that Everyone has the rights to sexual well being, a self affirming and enjoyable sexuality under principles of respect, which can be rooted in islamic teaching. In Surah Al-Baqarah 187 " hunna libasullakum wa antum libasullahunna" (Your wives are your garments and you are their garments. ***









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